ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
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