i already hear my dad disowning me
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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