What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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