Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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