He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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