i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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