I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
