I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
