either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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