so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
When are your genitals available?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
