I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
