So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
