whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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