hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
