We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
