David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
