dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
