there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
