Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
i think my cat just said my name.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
