just tell him i said nine months
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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