Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
