wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
