how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Come share oat with me in your robe
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
