i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Randomize