FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
