I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
