I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?