I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.