There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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