seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
He shit in the fireplace
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