elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
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