It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
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