it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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