i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
