Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Shame is for Republicans.
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