He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize