I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
