No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
