Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
