you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize