Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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