i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
