I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
