I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
