At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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