So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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