I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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