my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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