she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
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