I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize