Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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