She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
