Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
