I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
