i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Randomize
