some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
my shit smells like andre
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
