where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
