Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
soo... how was my night?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
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