Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
