I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
