you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize
