So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
