he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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