The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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