So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
