Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
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