i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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