Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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