There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
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it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
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And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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