so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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