Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize