I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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