What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Randomize
