it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
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hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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