I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
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