please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Randomize
